it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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