ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
