You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
