by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
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I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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