I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
wow bdsm is so cute
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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