doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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