He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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