no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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