dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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