White coat. Heels.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He better not be in your backpack
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
