Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dignity is for republicans.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
