Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
