Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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