I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize