the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
