so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
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Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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