No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
