There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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