google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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