she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
