Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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