so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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