Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
