I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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