She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize