ADVERTISEMENT

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i already hear my dad disowning me

  Fav 2 2494 1064

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.

  Fav 31 986 8841

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

  Fav 46 4412 834

  share tweet
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever

  Fav 19 6276 910

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI

  Fav 24 7139 2369

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.

  Fav 26 10440 2092

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (661): View more from California

  new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.

  Fav 27 5960 1786

  share tweet
  

• (916): View more from California

  i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget

  Fav 7 4320 1322

  share tweet
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.

  Fav 15 4653 1580

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.

  Fav 27 1794 4296

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?

  Fav 4 2408 1602

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

  Fav 0 587 468

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now

  Fav 1 709 345

  share tweet
  

• (+48): View more from Poland

  We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.

  Fav 0 565 238

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk

  Fav 0 79 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize