Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  This is not my ceiling

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): This is not my ceiling http://tfl.nu/p46e
  Replies (11) Good night (1854) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo http://tfl.nu/oxyw
  Replies (8) Good night (1212) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday http://tfl.nu/aiy9
  Replies (34) Good night (629) Bad night (6114)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces. http://tfl.nu/r2in
  Replies (32) Good night (771) Bad night (8717)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love. http://tfl.nu/is4u
  Replies (17) Good night (4743) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day http://tfl.nu/8h3x
  Replies (9) Good night (995) Bad night (2130)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/ijlk
  Replies (5) Good night (1981) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the camel was justified in biting me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I think the camel was justified in biting me. http://tfl.nu/yr0l
  Replies (8) Good night (1711) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado http://tfl.nu/of4e
  Replies (27) Good night (3561) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up. http://tfl.nu/a16r
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain.. http://tfl.nu/5env
  Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy
  Replies (0) Good night (721) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no? http://tfl.nu/z665
  Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break? http://tfl.nu/kbd5
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (309)

Randomize