oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?