We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.