Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow

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  (773): I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/1xbr
  Replies (17) Good night (3598) Bad night (988)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.

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  (440): tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors. http://tfl.nu/wmwt
  Replies (34) Good night (1481) Bad night (775)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower

  (571): View more from Virginia

  She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task

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  (540): Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower (571): She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task http://tfl.nu/xi7t
  Replies (11) Good night (2977) Bad night (893)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

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  (732): I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it. http://tfl.nu/eqvw
  Replies (66) Good night (1913) Bad night (3952)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  : am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?

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  (607): : am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too? http://tfl.nu/kg01
  Replies (36) Good night (5201) Bad night (892)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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  (928): I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?" http://tfl.nu/rf85
  Replies (32) Good night (8178) Bad night (1841)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?

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  (978): and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy? http://tfl.nu/x9f9
  Replies (15) Good night (1684) Bad night (1285)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers

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  (617): His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers http://tfl.nu/2b5k
  Replies (9) Good night (1876) Bad night (1046)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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  (570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone. http://tfl.nu/7xsv
  Replies (6) Good night (1583) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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  (630): I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it http://tfl.nu/s57c
  Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (1756)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.

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  (608): Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli. http://tfl.nu/5kl3
  Replies (1) Good night (1767) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?

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  (708): Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love? http://tfl.nu/bkra
  Replies (7) Good night (682) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.

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  (720): Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying. http://tfl.nu/q0t7
  Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.

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  (952): Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats. http://tfl.nu/v77x
  Replies (0) Good night (612) Bad night (237)

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