Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise

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(910): View more from North Carolina

In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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(512): View more from Texas

I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

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(541): View more from Oregon

Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard

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(425): View more from Washington

I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.

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