One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
