What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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