I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
