He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
