I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
