used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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