I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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