There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
