OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
