i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
