I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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