I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
