At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
