i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
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Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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