hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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