That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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