He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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