Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
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I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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