i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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