Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He has the fingertips of a God
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