she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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