He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
