Just mADE A PArabola og urine
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
