Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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