So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
