Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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