You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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