He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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