they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
