i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
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