It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
