Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
