So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
