when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
