We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
