I need help removing her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
