you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
