she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.