I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.