Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.