I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Randomize
