Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
