i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
