'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
