I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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