C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
