Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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