Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
